A light to break the darkness
by Sapphire1112
Summary: One shot. There is always hope - even in the darkest times. Some of it is a bit hard-going, but I promise it gets happier! I do not own the characters.


"I just think she might open up better if you're there." Diana Lawler explained.

"Well, I'll do my best to help." Nikki answered. "We can only try... _DIANA!"_

Diana swerved violently, trying to avoid the stray runaway horse and both women screamed as the casr clipped the steep verge, spun over three times and landed on its roof. Everything went silent and black.

"Miss Alexander took..."

"Dr. _Dr Alexander_." Jack interrupted rudely. Thomas but his hand on Jack's arm.

The doctor started again. "Dr Alexander took the brunt of the impact. She has a closed head injury and extensive injuries to the chest."

"But she's alive?" Jack interrupted again - though more politely this time.

"She's in intensive care at the moment"

" _But is she alive_?!" Jack almost yelled this time, it was a silly question to keep asking. He knew that - if she was in intensive care, she _must_ be alive, but right now, it was the _only_ question he wanted answering.

"Yes she's alive." The doctor confirmed. "I don't want you underestimating the _extent_ of her injuries, Mr Hodgson. At present, she is unable to breathe on her own. We are waiting for the results of her CT scan, but even with them, we have no way of really tell the full picture until she regains consciousness." He paused. " _If_ she regains consciousness."

"She will!" Jack growled through tears. " _She has too."_

"You three are listed as executives in Dr Alexander's living will, so I will discuss all decisions with you, ok? We won't do anything without your agreement."

"She has a living will?" Thomas commented after the doctor had left them sitting by Nikki's bedside. Clarissa looked just as blank.

But Jack knew. "She told me that she made one a number of years ago and she put Clarissa and I down with Leo just after we started at the Lyell. Then she put you down after Leo died - she wanted a doctor as well as us." He explained quietly. "A number of years ago, before we all started at the Lyell, Leo was attacked during a case - hit over the head. Nikki and um...Harry - the bloke who was here before me were Leo's executives They had to make decisions because Leo was in a coma like..." He glanced at Nikki's lifeless body, unable to finish the sentence. "Obviously Leo got through it but Nikki made a living will after that - she said that anything can happen."

"Yes, I can understand that." Clarissa nodded. "I would have expected her to put _you_ down, Jack - that bit I get and you've explained that she wanted a doctor as well, but _why_ _me_? I mean, I'm her friend, but what can I do?"

"She sees us as her family." Jack answered quietly. "She told me in Mexico... _sort_ _of_." He muttered.

Clarissa and Thomas stared at him. The former, pressing him on the matter. "Sort off?"

He sighed. "She recorded a message for us on the phone she had while she was trapped - in case she didn't get out. I found the phone when we were in the hotel at the airport before we came back. I don't know why she kept it _...I don't know why I did_..." He trailed off.

"I take it she doesn't know you've heard the message then?" Thomas asked.

"I don't think so. I charged it up, found the message and listened to it while she was having a shower. It made me cry." He muttered. Jack looked up at them. "You should hear it too. There was a message on it for both of you as well."

The doctor opened the door "Mr Hodgson, Dr Chamberlain, Mrs Mullery. I have the results of Dr Alexander's scan, if you would please come this way."

The doctor led the three of them into the room next door. Nikki's scans were up on the screen and Thomas knew straight away when he saw them what the doctor was going to say.

"The scans are largely inconclusive, but the machines are breathing _for_ her and have been since she arrived here and so far, she's shown _no_ signs of waking up. I'm afraid, we need to consider whether to turn her life support machine off."

" _Noooo_!" Jack wailed, collapsing in a chair, covering his face.

"I'm very sorry."

Jack shot to his feet again and rounded angrily on the doctor. " _No_! _NO_! You do _not_ get to give up on her. She is the strongest woman I know, and the world _cannot_ cope without her! That woman in there puts the _whole_ _damn_ _world_ before herself and now it's _her_ turn., so you do _everything_ you bloody can, have you got that?" He turned away and put his hand on the window, staring through it in utter disbelief at the lifeless woman lying in the next room. Lifeless without the machine - if the doctor was right.

Thomas nodded at the doctor, who took his leave and Then the former glanced at Clarissa. Before either of them could speak, however, Jack spoke quietly - still with his back to them - still staring at Nikki through the window. "If Leo got through it, Nikki can too. _She has too_. Leo will get her through. I mean, this is just _wrong_ , isn't it?" He turned and crossed the room, not waiting long enough for them to answer. "She helps so many people...and Mexico - _what's that about_? Huh?" He turned to Thomas and threw his hands up. "She was abducted and buried alive, then she saved 20-30 other people - at her own expense! _Why_ would she survive _hell_ like that? _Why_ would she _survive_ being buried alive only to die in a car crash a few months later?"

Thomas shook his head. "I don't know, Jack."

 _"IT'S NOT RIGHT AND IT'S NOT FAIR!"_ Jack yelled and Thomas winced at the level of his voice. "No. We are _NOT_ turning the machine off."

He collapsed back in the chair again - exhausted from his angry outburst.

Thomas rubbed his face with his hand. "Jack, if Nikki - _our_ Nikki, the Nikki we know and love is going to die, the chances are that she's _already_ gone." He sniffed. "You read her will - we all did. This - a machine _breathing_ _for_ _her_ \- this isn't what she wants."

Jack was silent now and Clarissa moved over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Jack, I _know_ how much Nikki means to you - she means a lot to us as well, but what would she say to you, if she could? She _wouldn't_ want this, would she?"

Jack got up again and walked over to the window. "You're right, Thomas - you're both right. Nikki wouldn't want this." He sobbed. "We've got to let go. I'm sorry" He walked past them both, out the room and they watched through the window as he sat down next to Nikki, stroking her hand.

"I'm sorry, I got a bit weak in there. Didn't want to let you go. It was wrong - Clarissa and Thomas put me right, though. I was being selfish - cos I can't imagine this world without you. It's silly really! Before that first case we worked on together, I didn't even know you." Jack sighed. "That first case. I'll never forget the look on your face when I suggested going down the sewer! You normally laugh when I remind you of it." He looked at her. "Please laugh, Nikki." He sniffed. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I love you." Jack nodded at the doctor - unable to bring himself to say the word 'goodbye'. It sounded to final and he couldn't cope with that. The doctor turned to look at Thomas, Clarissa and her husband Max, who had joined them. He knew Nikki well. They had all said their goodbyes already. Thomas nodded and the doctor turned and carefully switched off the machine.

"Please Leo, please, Leo, get her through, please Leo. Please..." Jack whispered over and over again.

The silence that followed was deafening and seemed longer than anything any of them had ever experienced - though in reality, it was less than a minute. It was broken only by the regular beeping of the equipment monitoring Nikki's heartbeat.

Nikki exhaled.

" _Wha_...? She's breathing! She's breathing! Oh God!" Jack shot out of his chair. This was a beacon of hope. A light to break the darkness. _Nikki_ _was breathing on her own._

The doctor leaned over her. He checked her pulse and her pupils and listened to her heart. "Yes. She is breathing on her own. I have to warn you that she's not out of the woods yet - she is still unconscious and unless she regains consciousness we won't know the full extent of the head injury. But the fact that she is breathing on her own is a good sign."

Jack threw his arms around the doctor, much to the astonishment of Clarissa, Max and Thomas - not to mention the doctor himself. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Er...you're... welcome." the doctor answered.

Jack cleared his throat and removed his arms from around the doctor's neck. "Sorry." He muttered and sat down next to Nikki again.

The doctor stared at him for a few seconds, before nodding and leaving the room.

"So now we wait?" Clarissa asked.

"So now we wait." Thomas nodded.

"Come on, Nikki. I know you're in there somewhere. We're all here waiting, waiting for you. Me, Clarissa, Thomas and Max."

The latter stood up. "Jack, I'm going to take Clarissa home. I'll drop you at yours so you can have a shower, then I'll bring you straight back."

"I won't leave the room until you get back, Jack, I promise." Thomas told him.

Jack nodded and started to get up. He squeezed Nikki's hand. "I'm going for a bit, but Thomas is going to stay and I won't be long - I'll be right back, Nikki, I promise... _Nikki_?"

"What is it, Jack?" Thomas asked.

"She _squeezed_ _my_ _hand_!" Jack whispered. "She squeezed my bloody hand...Nikki, sweetheart, can you hear me?... _There_! again - she did it again!" He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Thomas sighed. "You may as well go now, Max - you won't get him out of this room now! I'll go and get a doctor."

"Actually," Clarissa retorted, "I think I'd like to stay a bit longer."

Max sighed and nodded.

"I'll tell you what, " Thomas suggested, "Why don't you two come with me - we'll get the doctor and find some coffee at the same time - let Jack have some time with her...Jack?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Er...yeah...thanks..." Jack answered vaguely, not looking round. His eyes were fixed on Nikki.

"Come on." Thomas opened the door and the three of them quietly left.

Jack spoke softly to Nikki for the next ten to fifteen minutes, filling in her answers in his head when they were required - he knew her well enough to know what her answers would be. "...They say Diana's going to be fine...Tell you what darling, I'll buy you pizza when you wake up...A _massive_ double pepperoni with a stuffed crust and extra olives, ok? And when you get out of here we'll go to the pub - so you can _trample_ me at pool again! We'll follow it up with another trip down the sewers. You'd like that, huh?"

"Mmmm...Jack?" Nikki murmured.

" _Nikki_?"

She opened her eyes slowly.

"Hey darling!" Jack whispered softly, "There you are!"

Nikki smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. "Pizza...pool...sewer...just about sums us up, doesn't it!"


End file.
